Ugliest Player Competition

We hebben een clubske opgericht voor mensen met een lelijk gezicht
Ge bent erbij, ge bent erbij!!

It all started with an online poll by Melbourne newspaper The Age about Footy players. Many players of Aussie Rules were thought to have such shitfaces that the fans had serious ideas about a few of their heroes being the missing links between men and monkey.

A little look at a few soccer players, not at least from my own country, made me think that I could name a whole lot of players that would have done very good in the Age's competition.

So I started my own, just when the World Cup 98 was about to start. Hundreds of people came and took a look. About 70 of them told me their favorites and a very long discussion started up in soccer newsgroups all over the World (archived here). The competition closed with the end of the World Cup and, apart from the odd flamewar between Belgium and Holland on this place, Bulgaria's Tristan Ivanov and Holland's Michael Reiziger were the big winners. Congratulations boys!

Ain't he ugly?

Ed de Goeij (Feyenoord & Netherlands)

Andy Möller has quite a shitface and Gazza would be quite a good option, but he won't be at the World Cup. And how about Clarence Seedorf?

However, the mark must go to Ed de Goey. He's just a rare kind of a human rabbit.

Pino, Rotterdam, Netherlands.

Clarence Acuña (Universidad de Chile & Chile)

Just look at his face.  Here in Chile the people call him in an ironic way "Brad Pitt".

Pablo Cabrera T, Valparaíso, Chile.

Edgar Davids (Juve & Netherlands)

There is no question about this one. It's Edgar 'zeurface' Davids. Here in Holland the people call him in an ironic way "Dennis Strik"

Laurentiushater, Rotterdam/Holland.

Micheal Reiziger (FC Barcelona)

He defenitely looks like a monkey!!!.

Heidi de Haan, Haarlem/ Holland.

Ivanov (Something Sofia, used to play for Rapid Vienna)

His face is just totally hideous. If Steven Spielberg had to make a movie about the anti-christ, Ivanov could ben type-cast. He basically looks like a wolf with a hangover, with a sort of Russian evilness added to the ensemble.

Erwin Leeuwis, Enschede.

Moreno Torricelli (Juventus)

Ever saw a close up of him ?

Harald de Vries, Amsterdam.

m. reiziger (barca)

i dont have to tel you why

wim hollander, zwijndrecht holland.

Michael Reiziger (FC Barcelona & Netherlands)

His lips are miles ahead of his face. The day he scores a goal, he'll celebrate it like Ravanelli, but instead of pulling his shirt over his head, he'll do it with his lips.

Gilbert Bofill, Barcelona, Catalonia.

The Neville Brothers (Man U, England)

Individually they're bad enough. Together, they're a direct threat to the gene pool.

cj herrera, Los Angeles, USA

Matthias Sammer.(Won't play any matches ever) (Dortmund)

He looks like a dog.

Dogs look like shit.

Jinne Lips, Almere, Holland

all the player of belgium (belgium)


wim hollander, zwijndrecht holland

Slaven Billic (Croatia)

A lot of skill, ugly as hell though!!!

Cedomil Slokar, richmond, TX, USA

Bilic (Croatia)

Just look at his head, he's Ugly

Michel Stolk, Delft/Holland

Lothar Mattheus (Germany)

Need I explain?

Just too many people stood on his face

Chris, Amersfoort NL

Goran Vidovic (Belgium)

Just surf to to see why.

Zulma, Brussels

Davo Suker (Croatia)

he has a 'Marc Dutroux'-twinkle in his eyes

lolly bobo, netherlands

Trifon Ivanov (Bulgaria)

He's the ugliest defender in the last two world cups. And his facial features extend in his gameplay, as his steel hard tackles fly about, he'll give many striker a scare or two. It could very well be that the days of his type are numbered with FIFA's attempts to ban his brand of tackle. What's next, red-card scary faces? Anyway, his loyal fans -the Trifosi- will back him all the way.

Axel, Nijmegen, Netherlands

Jimmy Hasselbaink (The Netherlands)

I think He looks just like a monkey

Edmond Van Steenberge, Buggenhout, Belgium

Ivanov (Bulgarie)

Because he's abominable !!!!!!

Vanhaelen Nico, Belgium

frank de boer (netherlands soccer team/ajax)

the gap between his eyes (or was that ronald de boer)

No it's frank. Maaan, you can fuck him in hit gap, and he would like it too.

de herrick van deze tijd, the netherlands

Carlos Valderama (Colombia)

His face,his hear ....  !

These are my top 5 ugliest players:
2.Van Der Sar(because his stoned face)
3.Van Der Elst(butt he is a good player)
5.Lalas  (dont need to explain)

Maurits Vande Reyde, Belgium

Ivan Zamorano (Inter and Chili)

Madonna thought that he was the most sexy player, but i prefer madonna herself(at her age still everything in place!)

Steve Stroobants, Leuven, Belgium

Bulgarian National Team (Bulgaria, I do believe)

look at them. Some of these guys make Gica Hagi look like the sex god of the universe, which is no small feat. It makes me wonder if Someone was dumping toxic chemicals into the water over there.


Ivanov (Bulgaria)

Just look at the'll understand it.

There's no doubt about it, if you come up with an uglier player you get 100 $ from me..... =)

Playmaker, Sint-Niklaas Belgium

Ronald de Boer (Ajax)

hi want only money

Jan, Koekelare

Michael Reiziger (Barca/Netherlands)

When I saw him for the first time, I thought somebody had done LSD in my drink...

Says enough, doesn't it...?

Steven Helsen, Antwerp/Belgium




Valderama (Columbia)

ugly haircut

Gielkens Jimmy, Bilzen belgie

Reizigzer (The Netherlands)

What a big mouth.

Cauwenbergh  Erwin, Wespelaar

Kluivert (Lulkoek)

Voor al de Hollandse lullen.

Bert Vanhaecke, Belgium

Bogarde (Holland)

What do we want?!!!!!

Jeroen de Jonge, Veendam

Peter Stöger (Austria)

Simply because of his face (especially if he is unshaved). Some friends of mine call him Peter "Staubsauger" Stöger
(vacuum cleaner).

Have fun at the World Cup!

Rolf, Dornbirn/Austria

Gordan Vidovic (Belgium)

It looks like his head is smacked up between the doors of a train.

Bram Vandenbroeck, Haacht / Belgium

vidovic (belgium)


koning, rotterdam rules

Ivanov (Bulgaria)

He looks like he's dead, or drunk, or drunk and dead

Koen Malfait, Asse / Belgium

the hole Netherland squad (Netherlands)

What can I say, they look cool but they are ugly!!!-a part from Kluivert, but he's just dumb-

By the way, NETHERLANDS STINK!!!!!!!!!!!

C.G., Brussels, Belgium

Edgar Davids (Juventus and Netherlands)

He just looks like he is angry all the time. Totally mad!

Gammsur Lell, Ursviken/Sweden

All the players of the Netherlands (the Netherlands)

Because the're a bunch of frustrated violaters and rapers and they can't make a goal against us ......... :)

Nick Matheus, Belgium

the Mexican team (Mexico)

Because we gonna beat them on Saturday................. :))))

Nick Matheus, Belgium

Ed de Goey
STAELENS vuile klootzak vieze dikke neet

Fedde, Tiel, Nederland

filip de wilde (belgium)

he is so ugly with his "krullen"!!

sandro sciacca, belgium

All players from the Netherlands (Holland)

No reason, just look at their faces...

Peter Huybrechts, Genk/ Belgium

Gordan Vidovic (Belgium)

Just look at him and you will see.

Gunther Janssens, Mechelen / Belgium


Maybe he isn't that ugly to see, he has the most violent character anyone could imagine.  Shame on you, Patrick !!!


Ronaldo (Brazil-Inter)

Monkey that plays football, well!!!

pimp, Croatia

Staelens, Marc (belgium)

He makes Patrick Kluivert getting very mad and a red card!!!!!!


Jimmy Laiton (Scotland)

I think it's Drakula himself!!! And look at the some kind of cream he puts on his eyes... Scaaary!!!

Sasha, Natanya/Israel

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